Even though we have known the gender since December, I knew I wanted to do a studio photo shoot to commemorate and to, of course, share online.
Because we chose to do the genetic testing on our embryo, the lab was able to tell the gender before it was implanted. We asked our IVF doctor to get the results for us and put them in an envelope that we could share with someone once we figured out how we wanted to do the “reveal” to ourselves. My birthday is the day after Christmas and we decided this would be the perfect chance to find out. So we had a delicious bakery in Charlotte, Suarez bakery, make my birthday / gender reveal cake to cut together on my birthday in Highlands with my parents and best friend.
See the video here of us finding out we are having a baby girl. I was ELATED. I had a gut feeling I was carrying a girl and even referred to her as “she” but would have been thrilled either way. Or so I thought, lol. I think my scream in the video tells you that deep down, I really wanted a baby girl.
Please give me a little grace here with my ramblings, stream of consciousness and overall disorganization. This is the best I could do š Here are some tidbits, hard things, good things and things i used and loved during my first trimester.
I am writing this at 15 weeks and really kicking myself for not writing it sooner. Honestly, I spent so many days doing nothing during my first trimester, why couldnāt I have just written down some more notes? But alas, GRACE. Must give myself grace.
The best designer tote bags for fashionable mothers exude MILF-ness (yes, I said it) and have room for all of the trappings of motherhood: the extra makeup we didnāt have time to throw on before we left the house, sippy cups, blankets, snacks, and diapers galore. While what is inside of our designer tote bags might not always be glamorous, the fashionable mom values a tote bag that is functional and fashionable for her everyday life.
When I was pregnant, I scoured the internet for hours and hours looking for the perfect designer tote bag that would not only double as a diaper bag but one that would also be a good piece to add to my bag collection for other things such as travel, work, and play. During my research, I found that my favorite handbag designers had amazing contenders for this new mamaās search.
From the fashionable momās favorite designers such as Chloe, Saint Laurent, Gucci, Louis Vuitton, and Christian Dior ā these totes are functional for new moms and experienced moms alike.
This post conveys MY PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. We got VERY lucky our first round and I know that everyone doesnāt have it this easy. However, treating this as a personal journal entry and for others looking for hopeful stories, I am going to give my honest opinion about this process.
THE WAY THAT IVF IS PICTURED IN MOVIES AND TV SHOWS, I THOUGHT, * I COULD NEVER DO THAT. * SHOTS? NEVER.
When we first found out that we were struggling from infertility, I told myself and my close friends āI donāt think I could ever do IVF.ā I thought it would be brutal on our marriage and my body, and I didnāt think I could handle it. However, when I found out that was our only option to have a baby of our own, it seemed like a no brainer. I guess my wannabe mom instincts took over and it took practically zero convincing to decide this is the path we would take. It is crazy that the media had warped my perception of IVF SO much that I was convinced I couldnāt do it until it was our only option.
Because of my preconceived notions, I had purposefully learned nothing about the process. When fellow influencers or people I saw on social media shared their stories, I thought āIāll never need to know about that.ā I actively ignored the entire idea for years. Again, because watching fake couples on tv go through all the rounds of shots and the blow ups and the fights just looked miserable.
I woke up this morning in a little bit of a panic. If you follow me on Instagram and stories you know that I have been sharing our IVF journey thus far in pretty explicit detail. This morning, however, I woke up thinking: what if this doesnāt work? What if we donāt get pregnant this first time around? What am I gonna tell my followers? But after a quick meditation, I realized is that I need to continue taking one day at a time.
Since we decided to go forward with IVF, I have told everyone (including myself) that I am just taking things one day at a time. Itās all we can afford to do at this point. Thinking about the what ifās is not going to help my emotional state from day to day. And, naturally, my emotional state effects me physically, and right now I need my body to be healthy as Iām growing these eggs.
{ I am currently 7 days into the egg stimulation process ā which, for me, means one injection in the morning and two at night with bloodwork + ultrasound monitoring every other day. }
So, knowing that, this blog post is probably going to be a bit jumbled I just wanted to say some things on here before I forget. Honestly, I have so much to say, but for now Iāll try to keep it short-ish and as sweet as I can šĀ
a little late, and not necessarily ground breaking ideas, but here are some picks for Mother’s Day this year.
CANDLES! You can never go wrong with a candle or 10. You know we love candles around here, and have posted and posted about our favorites over the years. So, instead of having to look up our old posts, here are our favorites here >>
Packing my hospital bag for the first time was overwhelming to say the least. Here are the products I packed and USED during my hospital stay when I had Phoenix. I hope it helps your hospital bag packing feel less overwhelming <3
I one hundred percent overpacked for the hospital because even though I had heard birth stories etc, I still didn’t know what to expect with having a baby. I did, however, know that I would want to feel as luxurious as possible while at the hospital aka I was going to do my darndest to turn that hospital room into the Four Seasons.
Phoenixās first birthday party was one for the books and some of my favorite memories TO DATE. I kept the party decor minimal with a simple silver colored theme and made the centerpiece a wall of printed out photos of our family over the past year. The collage wall was a BIG hit and I highly recommend making your own for your next birthday party!
Like most parents, Phoenixās first birthday was SUCH an emotional day for me.
Itās like I could feel the time passing in every cell of my body while wishing it would stand still for just a few moments.
I know, I know in my rational mind ā that would be hella weird if time actually stood still. It feels like just yesterday I was writing his birth story!
His first birthday made his growing up absolutely undeniable and while I am enjoying every stage, I am also trying to make sure the moments donāt pass me by!Ā Enter: the collage wall.
Here is my birth story from March 3, the day she became a mother thanks to Phoenix Michael. Thank you to the staff at St. Francis Medical Center in Richmond, Dr. Paoloni at River City OBGYN, and my mother – my inspiration and my lactation consultant. Best in the biz if you ask me <3
Baby Phoenix was due on Feb 24, 2020 but he wasn’t showing any signs of coming by then.I was 100% okay with that because I knew that he would come when he wanted and well, I was terrified of pushing a baby out. Like, terrified.
I felt like Beyonce when I got to the hospital because Sunday was not a busy day. It felt like they closed off the L + D wing of the hospital just for me. LOL
My husband would joke that I am totally fine having an “April baby” aka just let me be pregnant for forever. My fear of labor and delivery was SO real, but then again, I assume that it is for every woman.
Phoeny was showing no signs of coming so my doctor suggested an induction for Monday, March 2nd. The driving factor for me being okay with this suggestion was that it was my Aunt Mary’s birthday – who is one of my favorite people on the planet that passed away a couple of years ago. With the induction being Monday, my doctor suggested that I come into the hospital Sunday night to get the process started. At this point, I am just ready to go with the flow. Or so I am trying to tell myself.
All packed and ready to go!
Until I wake up Sunday. Actually, I didn’t even “wake up” because I barely slept that Saturday night. My mind was full of all kinds of thoughts and the unknown was haunting me. I wake up Sunday and pack for the hospital. Kevin left to run a couple of errands before hospital time and I knew I needed to meditate. I went up to my office to meditate and sobbed the entire time. Not because I was sad, but just because I was terrified. We can just call these feelings “pushing a baby out jitters.” I was SO scared. I didn’t know what to expect with labor, delivery, or being the mother of another soul.
Me, after my sob sesh
We get to the hospital and are greeted with smiles from all the nurses at St. Francis. Just like that – we are shown our room and it’s time to put the hospital gown on and IVS are inserted. I remember getting so hot with how quickly things started – idk if I was going to pass out from overwhelm or what. Luckily, I didnāt. My doctor comes in an hour later to insert what is called a balloon to start the dilation process. This wasn’t painful at all. In fact, Kevin and I rather enjoyed our first night in the hospital. We ordered uber eats – Capital Ale House to be exact and it was delicious. I didn’t start feeling crampy and uncomfortable until the wee hours of the morning. I had some pain meds for this and tried to sleep, but of course didn’t because I WAS SCARED.
Hospital essentials: rose water, Young Living peace + calm essential oil, + Kosas Lip Balm
When my doctor comes back in the morning around 7 am to take out the balloon and check how dilated I am, I am barely at 4.5 cm. The plan was for him to come back in the afternoon to break my water. He suggested getting the epidural before the water break. I was not sure if I wanted to be limited to my hospital bed at such a low dilation point, so I opted for waiting on the epidural until after he broke my water and upped the pitocin dose. Holy moly.
Once these 2 things happened, I was feeling contractions to what felt like the end of the earth. I 100% should’ve gotten the epidural when he suggested it because by the time I could get it, I was in so much pain it was hard to stay still during the actual epidural process. I remember asking my nurse āCan we do the epidural between contractions?ā She replied by telling me that the epidural process takes 20 minutes. My next question was in complete hysteria – āWhat if I get a contraction when she is inserting the epidural?ā She looked me straight in the eyes and told me that in that case, I have to breathe very slowly and more importantly – NOT MOVE. My mind was blown. I had no idea how I was going to stay still during these contractions. Thank God for my nurse because a contraction came right as the anesthesiologist was inserting the needle into my back. She braced me and coached me and kept me sane and still. PS Getting the actual epidural did not hurt and I do not have a high pain tolerance, for all inquiring minds.
Once I got my epidural, I felt like a new cathclaire – just like all of the mommas say. The next time I got checked, we were getting close to time to push and the doctor and staff were confident we would have a baby by 10 PM March 2nd. Keep in mind, I haven’t eaten since dinner Sunday. However, I did have 4 blue raspberry popsicles.
My doctor comes in after I had been pushing for about an hour. I continue to push for another 2 hours. My mom on one leg and Kevin on the other. You guessed it, there was no baby by 10 PM on March 2nd. I had been pushing for a long time. Not only was I starving but I wanted my baby out. My doctor suggested the vacuum to help get Phoenix out and I almost lost my mind. This is where I have to thank Dr.Joe Dispenza for all of his books, workshops I attended, and breath work teachings. I had to stay calm, focus on an elevated emotion and my vision for the future. Getting into a good state of mind at this point was not easy to say the least. It was as if in that moment – when the Neonatal team (about 15 people) came into my labor and delivery room that I knew why God sent this meditation practice into my life. For this very moment. I had to dig deep, elevate my emotions – even in the most exhausted state of mind – and focus on my vision for a healthy baby in my arms as soon as possible. ļ»æ
Dr. Paoloni tells me we have 3 chances to get him out using this contraption he referred to as a vacuum. I can feel the tears as he says those words, wondering – what if I canāt get him out in those 3 pushes? I donāt even mutter the words of that question because I know I canāt even allow my mind to go any further down that rabbit hole. Instead – I say okay, with no questions, and push as hard as I can. I HAD to tell myself that I have the choice to make this part of my story traumatizing or helpful. Before I knew it, Phoenix was in my arms and I was sobbing saying āIām sorryā over and over because he was crying. I know most babies cry when they come out but I couldnāt help but think that he mustāve been absolutely terrified being brought into the world sucked or whatever, that way. Another rabbit hole I didnāt let my mind trick me into going down. I shifted to gratitude for my baby in my arms and joked ābuddy, you need Botox!ā because of all of his sweet, sweet baby wrinkles. Probably not most motherās first words to their son but it was hilarious and I love him and wish those wrinkles were still there today at 9 weeks old. Phoenix was born at 12:11 am March 3rd.
And to answer everyoneās other favorite question, yes I tore. I tore a lot. My labias looked like the size of the Atlantic Ocean after giving birth. But donāt worry ladies, everything goes right back to normal. I was up and moving the next day. I attribute that to all of the supplements I took postpartum. Read all about those here. I know everyoneās story is different and beautiful, and that is why I wanted to share mine with you. Thank you to my rock/my husband, all of the amazing nurses at St. Francis Hospital, to my mother – my biggest inspiration and my lactation consultant, and to Dr. Paoloni at River City Obgyn for a safe and healthy delivery. Thank you doesnāt begin to express my gratitude. XO
PS – To all of my expecting momma’s, go to the chiropractor. I was having hip pain in my last 2 weeks of pregnancy and I think that is why baby Phoenix was stuck, causing him to need push assistance. My mom told me to go, Dr. Raika told me to go, and I didn’t make it priority! I’m no doctor, but I think that would have made all the difference in my delivery. Speaking of the chiropractor, that was our first stop after leaving the hospital. We went to see Dr. Jassy in Midlothian to get mama (me) adjusted and baby Phoenix because his neck seemed out of wack. It made all the difference and I also can’t thank Dr. Jassy enough for all of his help! Go see them for all of your chiropractic needs! XO
Considering a car seat for your little one? Here is my review of the Nuna Pipa Car seat from Nordstrom.
While I was pregnant with Phoenix, I did a lot of research in regards baby gear, especially car seats. There are so many things you need to think about when you are pregnant but some are more important than others. A car seat is one of the most important purchases to make or things to register for so I wanted to be sure I picked the right one.
I talked to family, friends and to The Crystal Press community on Instagram to find out first hand reviews of different models of infant car seats. As I did more research, I narrowed it down to 2 different car seats the Nuna Pipa and the UPPAbaby Mesa. Once I had it down to these two, I asked my community and the one that came back more highly recommended was the Nuna Pipa.Ā
( I will never be over Phoenix dressed up in his first Ralph Lauren baby button down. Ever since this purchase, I have become completely obsessed with Ralph Lauren baby boy clothes. Look at what I linked below and tell me that you don’t agree!!!! )
Not only is theĀ Nuna car seat one of the lightest car seats on the market, it has also been rated by Consumer Reports as the safest. The PIPA I have can be used in any vehicle and if you choose to purchase the model with the base, it takes one easy click to get the car seat in and out of the car.Ā Which is a must when you are trying to navigate life with a new baby!
I love the look of this Nuna Pipa car seat ( I have the caviar color) , it’s safety features, and how functional it is. It was easy to seamlessly transfer from the car to the stroller to the living room. I give this car seat a 10 out of 10 and highly recommend it, especially after using it for 6 months with baby Phoenix! (see my no bullshit birth story here)
